Maajhe Ajoba..

….My Grandfather

Ajoba

On a quiet morning of November 22nd at 5:20 am , my phone buzzed. I usually prefer not to receive any calls specially at night but something within me told me this was an emergency. Mom , on the other side of the phone , gave the news that my paternal Grandpa passed away.We called him “Ajoba”. He was 95 years old, lead a good , healthy life and passed away peacefully in his sleep without any major ailments. Hearing this news , I weeped all day . A flash of beautiful memories just came to me all week and brought tears everytime I recollected his fond memories.

There are a few people in your life who love you unconditionally and Ajoba was one of them. Being the youngest of all the grandchildren , I was the most pampered and loved grandchild .I used to playfully call him “Ajobi”and he had all sorts of nicknames for us grandchildren. For most of my grandparents’ life , they were based out of Solapur and my childhood was filled with memories of summer holidays at my grandparents. When I visited them in Solapur , Ajoba would make sure that my grandmother would make all our favorite cuisines. He would take me to the parks , make sure I always have friends around to play with and at times even play with me like a child. He would collect the seasonal mangoes from the trees around and prepare best of the mango recipes for me. He would collect the special soft leaves from the Neem trees and grind them for hours to make a homemade medicine for me to increase immunity.Both Ajoba and Ajji (grandmother) would have tears in their eyes as we would leave back for hometown after summers with a promise that they would visit us soon. He helped me write letters to mom-dad telling them how I was doing.

When they visited us , Ajoba would love to drop me to the school bus and would wave till my school bus was not to be seen and wait eagerly for me to be back.

With a humble lifestyle they lead , Ajoba-Ajji used to stay in a rented apartment in Solapur till they were in their 70s and finally built their own home. The home they built so late in their time , with so much of hard-work was so close to their heart . They took care of the house almost like their child. With trees planted in the backyard , a front porch and a beautiful cozy home. He had a big housewarming for this home and showed around the home with so much pride. I have a vivid memory of Ajoba sitting in the verandah (front porch) with all the neighbors gathered every evening and the chats that went till late nights.

As we grew older , our visits to Solapur reduced primarily because of the amount of heat in summers which would easily be over 115F and would be un-bearable. Ajoba and Ajji visited us often and would stay with us for months. Ajoba was quite a conversationalist and would love to talk and get nostalgic when he served in the railways. I used to hear bed-time stories from him. He knew I loved to hear horror stories so he would tell all horror stories.He used to narrate them with animation and we would be glued to them till the climax .We heard many of his stories multiple times but he would tell them always with the same enthusiasm and interest every single time.

As we grew older whenever Ajoba-Ajji visited us , I would tell Ajoba to be in the living room when I return from work and he would wait eagerly just the same way he used to when I was kid to welcome me with his BIG adorable smile. When he heard of any problems of our problems that went on in life , that would bother him the most. He loved to chat and listen to how we lead our lives and his eyes would be filled with curiosity. He used to recite prayers in the mornings and meditate in the evenings. That brought him a lot of peace and calm more so after my grandma passed away some 8 years back. My brother’s kids were fortunate to meet their great grandparents and grandpa called him his walking stick as he used to help him move around the house.

I was away for work in his last days . With age Ajoba’s memory was fading and he didn’t easily recognize people. My aunt and uncle who were with him in his last days tell me that he remembered our memories vividly and always would enquire about me. For me , wherever I was in life , I knew that there was this person whose blessings were with me throughout and who loved me more than anything else. We visited him everytime we got a chance and didn’t miss to convey our love for him. Such was the love between me and my Ajobi. A bond that was so strong and the memories which were so beautiful , filled with kindness ,innocence and worth cherishing. We were blessed to have them in our life.

I hope wherever Ajoba and Ajji are , we have their blessings for us all and they remain in our beautiful memories forever.

And then he was gone..

We woke up this morning to an unimaginable and extremely disheartening news of the sad demise of our favorite Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput. He decided to end his life at age of 34.  This young actor who came with no background from the film industry made it big in the glamorous world of Bollywood and transitioned beautifully from the small screen to the big screen purely on the basis of his talent.

Social media was filled with condolences , news flashes all over, celebrity interviews, pictures, videos ,posts around conjectures on what may have happened due to which he decided to end his life.

Many of us have thought  , what could possibly go wrong for the actor of his stature? He had everything one could ever dream of, from fame , to good looks , talent , stardom , wealth and a luxurious life. What could possibly trigger him to do this and literally finding no reason to live ? Many of the people even jumped to conclusions like he could be having an issue with his career , his love life,his personal life and his finances and the list goes on.

Really speaking no one would ever know what a person goes through mentally when they take such drastic actions. We as a society always jump to conclusions so quickly without having any background about what could the real situation be. We live in an extremely frivolous and impatient world where we barely try to understand anyone’s real problems let alone giving a helping hand for resolving the problems.

Think of a person who maybe going through a chronic depression .With such judgments thrown at them, how is there a possibility for someone to share their set of mental health issues out in the open without a risk of being judged.

Mental health issues always have a stigma attached to it. Imagine a person saying “I am visiting my psychiatrist/psychologist today” as openly as saying “I am visiting my dentist today or I have a doctor’s appointment today” and not being judged for the same. The day this happens  would be the day of change when we would openly discuss mental health issues as we discuss physical health issues. We would reach out to a friend , a family member , a well wisher and discuss openly what we are going through mentally as easily as any physical injury.

Mental health is as critical as physical health. Just because it’s not a visible condition does not mean that we should treat mental health any less. It needs equal attention, education and treatment as required before it becomes chronic and even beyond control.

We have many big names in the list where many celebrities have gone through this situation Jim Carrey, Robin Williams,Katy Perry,Lady Gaga,Dwayne Johnson, Deepika Padukone to name a few. Deepika Padukone post her depression phase spoke about it openly and started a foundation “Live, Love, Laugh” to help those going through this phase. Imagine a star who is at the top of her career talking about her vulnerabilities out in the open at the risk of being judged just so to help someone going through the same .She was being appreciated but there was a section of society who was again judgmental about her situation. Although , after she spoke a lot of stigma attached around this issue was addressed to some extent and people at-least started to talk about it.  

Many people go through mental health issues day to day and feeling helpless about it. If someone is going through this phase where they are not feeling alright in their mental space or feel something is wrong, seek professional help immediately and talk to someone about it and know that you are not alone in this.

If you come across someone who is trying to share some of their mental health challenges with you , be patient enough to listen before jumping to conclusions ,being judgmental about them , giving advice or even ignoring what they are trying to say. You never know in what way you could be helping them even just by being there to listen without passing judgments .

Not all of us are well equipped ,trained or educated to address anyone’s mental health issues but just being with them through their journey and holding their hands could be helpful at times .If you sense someone is going through mental health challenges, encourage them to seek professional medical help.

Remember , nothing is this world is worth losing your peace of mind and as important as your mental health. If you feel there are some people , things which affect your mental health adversely its better to move away from them instead of them pulling you down and leading you to an unwanted path.

For Sushant Singh Rajput, you will always be missed and be in our hearts forever. Your roles in Pavitra Rishta ,MS. Dhoni , PK , Chichhore , Kai Po Che, Kedarnath and Shuddh Desi Romance were a feast to watch. You had  incredible dance and acting talents and worked hard towards reaching your goals. We have danced and enjoyed on your songs especially on the song Makhana which played in my mind all this morning while I remembered your smiling face in the song. This is truly a loss of one of the finest and talented actors from the industry.

Never thought we would say this for you so soon but “May Your Soul Rest In Peace.”